it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
