I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
