omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize