normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
