I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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