you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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