There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
