Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
