the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize