my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
