I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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