What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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