You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why didn't you poke me back
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
