I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
