I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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