i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
