he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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