Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
