just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I AM VODKA MAN
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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