the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
