So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
