you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
