I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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