sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We're too hungover to prance.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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