can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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