Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
