I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
