Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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