addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
