I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
