Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
