Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
