I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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