i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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