Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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