im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Two words: blizzard sex
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
