This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
