Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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