I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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