I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
