I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
