$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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