Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
