We're facebook friends in real life
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
