Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
