My room smells like vodka and shame
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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