clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Shame is for Republicans.
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