i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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