Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
