good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
