I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't turn off my feet"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
