No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
