WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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