dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize