WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
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Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.