just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the day after is always just damage control
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.