If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have already put on my inside pants.