1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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