Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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