So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
