was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it because I queefed?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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