genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
