Sry I called you an 8
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
