I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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